What did you say?
I cannot hear you
Please
Turn the volume up
On the TV
Cannot hear what anyone is saying
Either
Never mind commercials
It is called
Sudden Hearing Loss
Suddenly my left ear
Was like
Plugged
Far off sounds
Filtered through
Crazy weird
Ah
But the hearing
Test
Did not lie
Suddenly
There was indeed
Sudden Hearing Loss
In my left ear
Well okay
Things could be a lot
Worse a lot
Worse
Grandmother is old, she is frail
I am one-hundred years
She says, though only ninety-seven
Her fingers trace patterns on the lap robe
And she watches as they move
To the right, to the left
I am nervous, she says
I am nervous
Then her hands lie open
On her thighs
Palms touching the blue wool
She lifts them up, then down
Slowly, again and again
I sit in a chair
Close to the one that enfolds her
Cover her hands with mind
And feel the flutter of her nerves
Like a thousand butterflies
That struggle for release
From their cocoons
*Written 1982, from 2001’s Poet’s are the bravest.
My friend Katie
Somewhere in her late
Eighties
Warned me this
You’ll lose your
Energy
Not me
I silently replied
Katie was right
My energy is
Evaporating
Like air from a
Balloon
With a tiny pin prick
Hole
Slowly slowly
Over the years
Hardly noticeable until
It is noticed
Felt in the body
Matter over mind
And do not look
Back
On what an energized
Body
That puts mind over
Matter
Was able to do
And did
It now becomes
Acceptance
Yes
This is where I am
Today
Who I am
Still me
Only slowed
Things to accomplish
As always
Get accomplished
The finishing perhaps
Coming with vermilion
Clouds
The sun leaves behind
Going wherever it goes
Done for this day
As I also
Am done for this
Day
I think of Life as a river
That begins from its source
Somewhere unknown to me
Flowing around me flowing over
Any obstacle that lies in its
Path
A large boulder fallen timber
Always moving to follow its
Course
With twists with turns
Changing as landscape it flows past
Changes
To widen to narrow
Continuing the journey
Until it joins another river
Or flows on its own
To the sea
… I see I feel
Morning sun
Touching the life of the
Sycamore’s new leaves
A hyacinth not yet in
Bloom
From my window
I see other windows
On a hill across
The Riparian Way
Like tiny lighthouses
They shine beacons of light
To me
As night closes day
From my window
I hear sirens on El Camino Real
Their sound grows fainter
As they move farther away
Then one abruptly stops
Called here
To the community
Where I live
From my window
I send a prayer
Too often
Someone I know
Someone I don’t know
Passes away
Death is no stranger here
But life is far more familiar
I feel the void
When faces go missing
I never get used to it
Life lives with death
Two parts of the whole
Every fall
From my window
I watch the sycamore’s leaves
Dry out
Their color green changing into
Old gold
Falling to the ground
In graceful slow motion
Then welcoming her new leaves
Every spring
The sun rises
Over the distant hill
Goes down over the distant
Ocean
Moon rises
Over the distant hill
Sets in her own time
Over the distant ocean
It is an orderly Universe
I closely observe
Closely observe
From my window
My years are like my days
Passing quickly so quickly
The four little children
I escorted through childhood
With devoted love
With hope for wisdom
Are now in their fifties
When I think of this
I am grateful for them
Grateful
And amazed
This past year is now
The new year
I feel deep relief
Welcome New Year
You began with rain
Serious rain
On our drought laden
Land
And I made this vow
No resolution a vow
My attention my energies
Will reside with what is
Good
What is kind
With love for All That Is
No exceptions
And forgiveness
For what the old year
Held
For what the New Year
May bring
–January 2017
Mourning dove I hear you calling
You call you call call again
But no utterance of sound of words
From me in answer to you
Could fill the silence of your solitude
An unseen woodpecker
Sends a rapid staccato
Of tap tap tapping
From some nearby tree
My ears try to direct
My eyes
To discover its location
I listen look listen look
Finally give up my anticipation
That ends in disappointment
Pure frustration
My children’s childhood
Rebounds in remembering
Snippets of scenes
Tho the sound of their childhood
Voices
Have faded
Like shadows from a forgotten
Dream
I imagine myriad
Sounds voices
That enter the portal of my
Consciousness
Year unto year
Some leave many remain
Becoming part of me
Of who I am
But if I have a choice
I will carry into forever
The sound I love most
Your voice your voice
*photo credit
Oh
I remember well
The beautiful young man
Standing in the front room
Of the Rodgers Park Jewish
Community Center
One June morning in
1954
I have come there
To be a counselor
In the Center’s summer day camp
A job I’m not overly excited
About taking
Only here because a college friend
Tells me there’s an opening for a
Girl counselor and there isn’t any
Other summer jobs I know of
To apply for
Oh yes
I walk in and there he is
Standing right smack in front
Of me
I look up into a pair of very
Blue eyes
In a face smiling down at me
With beautiful white even teeth
He wears a white tee shirt
The sleeves rolled up once
His arms tanned and not bulging
With muscles just right
I don’t remember anything else of that
Day our first meeting
Except that first day unbeknownst
To me is the blessed first day of
Sixty-two wonderful years sixty of them
In marriage
Thank you God thank you Stephen
And you beloved family
Beloved friends
For blessing us honoring us
By coming to be with us
As we celebrate our marriage
Of sixty blessed years
Thank you Thank you Thank you
. . . you enter uninvited
You disrespect boundaries
You invade sacred spaces
Many questions
Surround you Pain
Mysteries too
Pain you are a creator
Of feelings
I feel you
When I look at a photograph
Of a starving child
Her eyes have become
Too large for her face
Deep sadness leaks
Through the camera’s lens
Into my heart
Pain
You cross borders
With no visa
You enter the bodies
Of living beings
You linger
You vanish
You invade our minds
Pain
Our thoughts feel
Your presence
Are able to multiply
Your effects
Upon us
Until we learn
To take control
Of your intentions
For thoughts follow you
Pain
Down the corridors
Of time
As for me
I welcome you Pain
You teach me to understand
The pain of others
To know empathy compassion
To love this world
That lives with so much pain
I can deal with you
Pain
Take you for what you
Are
Lessons for my life
Not easy Pain
Soul work never
Is