An aura of judgment

Surrounds me

Invades my growing years

Settles into my consciousness

I take it as truth

It is who I become

Hesitant     shy

Afraid to take chances

Holds back     holds back

Cringing at judgmental words

Spoken around family dinner

Tables

Between Father and Mother

Words critical of other people

Known     unknown     of me

I live my nickname

Miss Mouse

Hear a voice

Inside myself

Tells me over

Over     over

Don’t try     don’t try

What if you fail

What if you fail

 

I listen to the voice

Play life safe

Unadventuresome     fearful

Of everything

 

I blame no one

There is no one to blame

Save my own self

 

Now

Only remnants of the aura

Remain in my consciousness

Like wisps left from a morning

Fog

They pass through my awareness

Are gone

 

Aura—“a distinctive atmosphere surrounding a given source” –New Merriam-Webster Dictionary

—June 2015