83rd Birthday Memories–Part I

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Look back down the years

My childhood years

Am I that little girl

Wearing braids with nails bitten

Down to the quick

Yes     it is I     yes

Feeling I am from another

Place

A planet far far away

Perhaps a star

A bright star it’d be

Shining brighter than other

Stars

I came from there

I don’t belong here

 

My family sits around

Grandmother’s table

Gathers every Sunday

One o’clock sharp

For Sunday dinner

Dare not be late

 

My family talks     expresses opinions

Don’t often agree    seldom laugh

They love me

I know this     I know this

They love me     but do not

Know me

They love me but cannot feel

Who I am

 

I feel who I am

I am different inside

Myself

I have tantrums

Want what cannot be

Given

Want the warmth

Of hugs     of arms around me

Words

I love you     you’re okay

My family loves me

Love that needs to learn

To express itself

Some generations grow up

With silent love

Silent love unexpressed

Silent

I need love expressed

In words     in demonstrative

Ways

So     I cry     I scream

Bite a crystal glass

Of water

Mother holds to my lips

No one can understand

This child

 

Forty years go by

We talk on the phone

Long distance now

I am here     they are there

My love for them

Needs expression

I begin to say

As our conversations

End

I love you     I love you

Many months go by

Then

I hear it

I love you

It becomes the way we say

Goodbye

(written: June 29, 2015)

*photo credit

Voices

mdove7

Mourning dove     I hear you calling

You call     you call     call again

But no utterance of sound     of words

From me in answer to you

Could fill the silence of your solitude

 

An unseen woodpecker

Sends a rapid staccato

Of tap tap tapping

From some nearby tree

My ears try to direct

My eyes

To discover its location

I listen     look listen look

Finally give up my anticipation

That ends in disappointment

Pure frustration

 

My children’s childhood

Rebounds in remembering

Snippets of scenes

Tho the sound of their childhood

Voices

Have faded

Like shadows from a forgotten

Dream

 

I imagine myriad

Sounds    voices

That enter the portal of my

Consciousness

Year unto year

Some leave     many remain

Becoming part of me

Of who I am

But if I have a choice

I will carry into forever

The sound I love most

Your voice     your voice

 

*photo credit