For Now

I cannot put my words

Together

It is as if they are trapped

Inside my brain

Words I need

To express my distress

Feelings of disbelief

And if I am truthful

Horror

At what is being allowed

In the unraveling of my country’s

Beingness

I cannot get the words out

Write them down

Will have to let other voices

Be heard

Other voices exclaim

The anger     bewilderment

Outrage

Like silt building up

In the pristine waters

Of a mountain stream

I will listen

Follow where they lead

Trusting it be

Into the light of reason

Again

 

For now

My hibiscus blooms large scarlet discs

Under my window

 

For now

I watch crazy flights

Of a Phoebe bird

As it snaps up insects

On the wing

Am mesmerized

By these different sized evergreens

On a hill

Above the Camino Real

Swaying as one

In the wind

 

For now

Music     laughter

Kind voices from anyone

Anywhere

Human and animal

Voices of my children

My True Love

Sounds from my own world

The only real word now

For me

Life as a River

I think of Life as a river

That begins from its source

Somewhere unknown to me

Flowing around me     flowing over

Any obstacle that lies in its

Path

A large boulder     fallen timber

Always moving to follow its

Course

With twists     with turns

Changing     as landscape it flows past

Changes

To widen     to narrow

Continuing the journey

Until it joins another river

Or flows on its own

To the sea

 

 

Midnight

Midnight for me is

Mysterious     unattainable

For Mother has me in bed

By eight o’clock     always

Eight o’clock

Hard as I try

When my eyes open again

Morning shines into my

Window

I want to know     midnight

What it feels like

Who is there     what do they do

In midnight

 

I would like to see

Winged horses

White like Pegasus

Unicorns     dancing bears

I want animals that speak

My language

To have conversation

Be friends

Colors swirling around us

Rainbows     even angels

With halos     with wings

Oh     will I never know

Will I ever know

What it feels like

To be awake in

Midnight

 

Years pass

My beloveds sleep

In their beds

Here I am

Notebook open     pen in

Hand

It is quiet     so quiet

My sanctuary of peace

And the clock strikes

midnight

—February 7, 2017

 

The New Year

My years are like my days

Passing quickly      so quickly

The four little children

I escorted through childhood

With devoted love

With hope for wisdom

Are now in their fifties

When I think of this

I am grateful for them

Grateful

And amazed

 

This past year is now

The new year

I feel deep relief

Welcome New Year

You began with rain

Serious rain

On our drought laden

Land

And I made this vow

No resolution      a vow

My attention      my energies

Will reside with what is

Good

What is kind

With love for All That Is

No exceptions

And forgiveness

For what the old year

Held

For what the New Year

May bring

–January 2017

 

 

Angel Wind

th

I call to you

Blow away storms

That rise at times

Inside me

Blow them away

Away

Dark clouds

Dark    dark

Surround my heart’s

Cavity

They drift upwards

Fill my mind

Down again

To cover my organs

Invade my body’s

Cells

Push Spirit’s Light

Away     away

While I live unaware

The calamities

Storm tossed emotions

Evoke

 

Something unknown then

Arrives

A voice speaks to me

I hear without ears

That hear

Feel it like the warmth

Of a blanket wrapped around

Me

 

It says

“Ask and it shall be given”

I ask

 

And the Angel Wind

Comes

Blows the storms

That rise inside me

Out to sea

Blows them into the ether

Vanishing like the morning

Mist

Away    away

To understand

Now

In naked clarity

The Angel Wind

Is me

*photo credit

 

 

 

Super Blood Moon

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A faint glow of red

Barely visible

Through the top of the

Balsam pine

Tells me my eyes have found

The Super Blood Moon

Wait    wait now

For it to rise

Over the treetop

Into the naked sky

Watch the soft covering

Of her face

Slowly evaporate

As the sun

Far from my portion

Of earth

Moves on releasing her light

As the moon clothes herself

In brilliant white

 

This is a Super Blood Moon

A gift from Spirit

Her eclipse bringing a message

Of renewal     of transformation

First a covering     then a

Release

A familiar journey

From what has lain

So long

Deep inside me

Slowly to be let go

Now standing on an ordinary

Cement sidewalk

I am one with her

On this night of magic

Of mystery

As she draws me up

Draws me into the brilliant radiance

Of her glorious light     holy light

Light from nowhere on earth

 

Oh what message     what message

From All That Is

Comes with this Super Blood Moon

Only one’s soul     only a soul

Can answer

*photo credit: Stella Blumberg

Dry Spell

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written spring 2015

I have lost the magic

In my words

As I’ve lost the moon

The stars are gone

From my portion of sky

I grieve them all

 

You and I once watched

The sun as it sank

Behind the Jemez Mountains

In New Mexico

Leaving a glorious fire

Of orange     of gold

Of deep crimson

That reached into clouds

High above     it’s descent

 

Where is Orion now

Where are the dippers

I search the indigo

Of early evening

Before windows in homes

Across El Camino Real

Reflect lamplight from inside them

So many streetlights

So many lit windows

My portion of sky

Is no longer mine

My words feel as tho

They’ve escaped into a

Starless sky

In a starless night


*photo credit

Words

th-2

When we have had a

Fight

 

It doesn’t happen often

You know

 

I feel I am in a

Foreign country

Landing on unfamiliar

Soil

From some far away

Galaxy

Not knowing who I am

Where I belong

 

Feeling unlike myself

Inside the depths

Of mind   of body

My heat remaining

Silent

 

It is not the words

My dear Love

I do not remember

Words

Do not listen to

Words

My distress rides

On the tone of voice

Used

To speak the words

My Achilles heel

Returning me to

Voices

I remember hearing

In childhood

That put me on the defensive

So     around     around     around

We go     you and I

Then     it ends

 

It takes a small time

For me

To come back into my familiar

Self

Like stillness

After a storm passes

Before a bird begins to sing

Again

th-1

Listening In & Missing You

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*

Listening In

Here

Where I am now

There is soft chirping

From small birds

Unseen

Out my open window

I listen to them

Hear their conversations

Like the ebb and flow

Of human voices

Around a dinner table

It feels somewhat like

I am eavesdropping

On their privacy

But I do not understand

Their language

Have no idea

What is being discussed

So what can it matter

Anyway                              –2013

 

Missing You

It is in another time

Another place

I hear mocking birds

Sing

As they claim their territories

In the mating months

Of February and March

Our Southern California spring

 

Each bird owns their own

Repertoire

Of rhythm     trills     melodies

Culled from the sounds

Of other birds

Their songs resonating like bells

From hillsides around my house

 

Oh

I remember wonderment

Remember my joy

To hear a mocking bird

Singing

In the silence of midnight

Moon music     I call it

A lullaby into sleep                         –2013-2014

 

*photo image found on Pinterest

My Untethered Horse

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Beloveds
I want to tell you
A dream I had
In the darkest part
Of night
A dream so vivid
I have to believe
It was no dream
But real
 
I am riding on the back
Of an untethered horse
I too     untethered
No saddle     no stirrups
No reins
Come between us
As my hands hold to her mane
My knees pressed against
The shine of the hair
On her sides
 
Oh     I would ride free
Forever
I call to the wind
On the back of this
Untethered horse
My soul     my spirit
As free as she
Galloping on the sunlit shore
With an endless sea
Behind her
 
Then Beloveds
I wake filled with joy
Feel my spirit speak
Hear words
From my soul
Telling me
The untethered horse
Is my horse
She is God’s love
For me
My freedom
I can ride untethered
Free forever
 
All I must do
Is let go
Drain pools of negativity
Collected through years
Of judgmental thoughts
Judgmental words spoken aloud
Deep pain from shame
From guilt
For things that were done
Not done
Neglected     forgotten
By me
Let them pass
Through my consciousness
Like water through a sieve
 
Let go     let them go
Unto God

–Inspired by the book, The Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer